Hymns Without Hypocrisy

So….

Being born and raised in the church, some things stay in the brain a lot longer than one may realize.  Once in a while, without even thinking about it, I would find myself humming some of the melodies from hymns I’ve sung over and over the past decades.  I miss them sometimes.  Even though some are ponderous and heavy, some of my good memories in the church are of singing harmonies in counterpart to the more beautiful ones.

It’s the words that always catch me like a sudden jolt of reality hitting me when the lyrics run through my head… “Wait, that’s not true at all…. This hymn is just a propaganda piece…”

I set down one day to see if I could put more truthful lyrics down to keep those beautiful tunes from offending sensibility and the results have been a most interesting therapy.  Some may find the parody offensive…which is just fine.  Mormons are supposed to be insulated from being offended so I will allow them the opportunity to get over it themselves.  I have enjoyed writing them and I hope you do too.

I’ll post them occasionally to lighten up the heavier course of some of my posts.  One has to keep a sense of humor…

If your not familiar with this hymn, the original can be found here.
Some context and background can be researched here.

Or you can Google, “Fanny Alger” and ride the rabbit hole down.

~~~ Hymn #026~~~   Joseph Smith’s First Wife

Oh how lovely was her bosom –
Fairer far than his first wife.
Joseph’s winsome teenage housemaid
Caught his eye and Emma’s strife.
And confirming her suspicions,
Emma spied them in the barn.
In the guilty light of his betrayal,
Joseph had to spin a clever yarn.

“Emma, this is my beloved.
This commandment comes from God.”
Yet her anger still was kindled
For she saw through his facade.
“Emma, this is plural marriage.
God will surely be annoyed.
If you don’t receive her gladly,
You will have to be destroyed.”

Emma saw he would not waver
And she only could comply.
She let Joseph win that battle,
But he wasn’t satisfied.
For he sought out many women –
Even siblings and their moms –
Even wives of men out on their missions.
All were patsies in his latest con.

Some he pressured into ‘marriage’
Claiming angel’s threats and swords;
That their own entire family’s
Exaltation was in store.
Oh, how can a God of peace and love
To his daughters be so cruel
As to turn them into slaves and objects
For the whims of such a selfish fool.

---

Happy humming!