Mormon in Remission sing-a-long

Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve posted.  Life happens.

Happily, I’ve completed another hymn from the children’s songbook.  The original is a beautiful example of how to commit young children to serve missions for the church via sing-songy mind training before they even realize what just happened.  I suppose it’s only right I turn it back on itself.

The original, or a reasonable facsimile, can be found here or by searching Google for “lds children’s song I hope they call me on a mission”.

Hope you like it.

~~~ Children’s Hymn #169~~~   I Am a Mormon in Remission

I am a mormon in remission,
I finally found out the whole truth
And all the things they never taught me.
I’m just glad I found out while I am in my youth.

All kinds of things the church has hidden
And things past prophets lied about…
Like, Joseph couldn’t read Egyptian
And teenage wives that call his character in doubt.

From Kinderhook to plural marriage
And teaching God was Adam too;
The blacks that couldn’t hold the priesthood
Because it just turns out that God is racist too.

Some things, I looked up using Google
And books produced by mormon dudes;
So, if you like Masonic handshakes,
Then I think it’s the right religion for you.

So, now, I’m preaching to the choir.
The truth is now so clear to me.
I’ll try to shine a light in darkness
On inconvenient truths for those who still believe.